My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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