I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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