I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
