last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
