You're my little dorito
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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