It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
