Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
