So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
