is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
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I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
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My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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