All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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