Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
