He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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