So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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