Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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