Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
