You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
