you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
