This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
