Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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