Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize