discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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