Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
