dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
