I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Help. Why am I so naked?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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