i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
