Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
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Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
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So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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