What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm too high and old for this...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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