Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
