They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
