Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize