I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
