I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize