Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
