He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
