I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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