we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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