when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize