I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
