i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
