What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize