I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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