Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize