i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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