Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize