That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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