How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
