..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
