Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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