I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
