My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
high people should be assigned attendants
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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