I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
