Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize