Having a random hookup so left but love u
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
