I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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