I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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