Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we're so committed to being not committed
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
